Rev. Peanut's Chocolate Chilli Cola Cake

Chocolate Chilli Cola Cake.

Necessary Items:

250g butter, plus extra for greasing the cake tin, Last Tango In Paris style.

250g self raising flour.

300g golden caster sugar.

3 heaped tablespoons of cocoa powder. Or 4 level ones. (?)

A reasonably generous pinch of bicarbonate of soda.

200 mls cola (observe how I cleverly avoid any untoward advertising by using the generic term)…

75 ml Tipperary Co-Op Milk Supplier’s milk.

2 beaten, Cappoquin Poultry eggs.

½ a teaspoon of chilli powder or dried chilli flakes. Yep. Chilli.

1 teaspoon vanilla extract.

How to do it:

• Grease a 24” loose bottomed cake tin.

• Sift flour, sugar, cocoa and bicarb into bowl. Make sure the bowl does not contain any squid.

• Gently melt butter and cola together in a little small saucepan. Once melted, add it to the dry ingredients in the squid-free bowl, together with the eggs, milk and vanilla.

• Mix gently but thoroughly and tip into the cake tin.

• Bake for 40 mins at 180°C, or 356°F, or 453.15°Kelvin, until skewer inserted into centre of cake comes out clean.

• Leave to cool.

• Eat in private, by yourself. Do not share. Don’t even turn on the light. They’ll know you're there, they'll know what you’re up to and they’ll want some. They’re everywhere…