What the bejaysus is a chilli anyhow, Reverend?

 

What is a chilli, you say?

 

Chilli peppers are the fruit of plants from the genus Capsicum, which, along with tomatoes, spuds and tobacco, are all members of the nightshade family. Deadly, as we'd say in Dublin.

 

It is generally held that there are five domesticated species of chilli. The rest are wild, feral creatures which only come out at night to feast on the flesh of people who have watched more than one full episode of X Factor, and are not to be messed with.

 

The domesticated ones are:

 

Capsicum Annuum.

Capsicum Baccatum.

Capsicum Chinense.

Capsicum Frutescens.

Capsicum Pubesence.

 

Hmmmmmmmmm. Thankfully, The Eden Project has grouped them into a more “user friendly” bunch of three. They are:

 

Vegetable-type chillies – Which tend to be the larger, thicker and milder, kind of like the full back on a premiership football team. Typically bell peppers, jalepeno’s and the like.

 

Spice-type chillies – The smaller and generally hotter type, something akin to Penelope Cruz, but not as thick. They tend to be used to add a kick to your cooking, and are also great for drying and milling into a potent powder that you would be well advised not to confuse with any form of intimate medication. Peruvian Purple, Black Pearl and Birds Eye would be good examples.

 

Habanero-type chillies – Generally, but not exclusively, the hottest of the bunch. The cheerleader of the chilli world, one might say. Habanero, Scotch Bonnet and The Ghost Chilli fall into this category. Handle with care, particularly in the case of the latter, would be sage advice that you would do good to heed. Chopping a Ghost Chilli and then going for a piss, is a mistake that I can guarantee you will only make once.

 

And what is this spiciness, I hear you ask? Where does it come from and what is its function?

 

Well, it’s like this, children. Capsaicin is the active element in chillies responsible for the burning sensation felt when eaten. Capsaicinoids hook up with the pain receptors in the mouth and throat responsible for sensing heat and ping off an email to the brain to say that it is believed that you may have eaten a piece of burning wood. Generally this would not be the case, but this email tricks the brain into combat. Your heart rate rises, your sweat glands open and wonderful endorphins are released. In short – chillies make you feel all warm and gooey and generally at peace with the world.